


Disassociative

by SherlockWolf



Series: Post-KH3 [2]
Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Angst, Dragons, Everyone is +18, Fluff, Gen, Healing, Humor, Nonbinary Character, Post-Kingdom Hearts III, Rebuilding, not going to be as light and cheery as the rest of the series, this one may get gory so just an fyi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-21
Updated: 2021-01-24
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:21:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,130
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23239123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SherlockWolf/pseuds/SherlockWolf
Summary: Vanitas is returned to the Light, once again, against their will. This time it's not Xehanort who pesters them, but Ventus. Vanitas wants nothing to do with any of it...except maybe that other blond. And that goody-two-shoes everyone keeps talking about. Vanitas desperately wants to get their hands on him, to exercise a bloodlust running deeper within theirself than a soul...~Title in direct reference to the same-named song by Marylin Manson
Relationships: Aqua/Terra (Kingdom Hearts), Axel/Roxas (Kingdom Hearts), Riku/Sora (Kingdom Hearts), Vanitas/Ventus (Kingdom Hearts)
Series: Post-KH3 [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1639540
Comments: 51
Kudos: 37





	1. awakening

Though most would feel strangled and compressed, skin damp and itchy with sweat, there was one creature synonymous with the environment, born from it like grass from the decay of carcasses. They thrived in this sultry dark, soothed by the humidity and weight as though the two were a favourite blanket.

This creature had left their home a handful of times. The first had been their own choice—to explore the call of the Light beyond, a beacon they’d seen since the beginning of his awareness. When they’d done so, they became enthralled by the vibrance of _life_ in the Light. Creatures had color and expression. Objects had color and character. They loved it and went back and forth time and again, until the exploration became such a frequent occurrence, the creatures of the Light gave them a name.

Darkness.

Darkness brought with them what they called “night”, a phenomenon they did not know they influenced. Night was a mimic of their home that trailed with them, dulling the colors and expression and character until they moved on to the next area. The Light always returned—each time they revisited a place, it was there.

As time passed, though, the creatures of the Light began to fear Darkness. They whispered about them, spreading scary tales of nightmares and unholy beasts that snuck into homes, bringing illness and death. This hurt Darkness, and for a long time they retreated to their home and did not return to the Light.

Night continued on without them, a permanent fixture in the magic of the Worlds. The creatures adjusted, and soon their fears were nothing more than fairytales.

There was one man who believed in fairytales long past the age he should. One man who took destiny and Light and Darkness into his own hands. One man who ripped Darkness from their home. It was because of this man’s delusions and ambitions that Darkness was forced to share identity with a young human boy. A boy they had seen before during their explorations. A boy who they’d witnessed have more kindness in his heart than any being Darkness had ever met. Darkness and the boy became one, bound through friendship and soul.

But then, the ambitious old man tore them apart. Darkness could no longer sense the soul of the boy. They wandered, lost, suffocating with the weight of the helmet over their face. A day came where they were standing above a pool of reflective water, hating theirself and the old man and the young boy and the Light, and chose to remove the helmet. They had never seen their face before. They looked young, innocent. The opposite of who they felt.

If there was anything worse than being separated from the boy to fight the old man’s war, the boy did not show Darkness kindness when they first met face-to-face. Not that Darkness had particularly deserved it—their task had been to goad the boy to chase after his gullible friend. But it still hurt. And it hurt worse that the boy called them by a name that was not their own—Vanitas.

Darkness wanted to go home. But they could not. So, they began to lash out at the boy in anger, enjoying chasing after him and taunting him. These tasks distracted them from the pain. Pain of being alone, pain of being hated by everyone even though they’d never done anything more than bring Night. Pain of rejection from the one person who had, though briefly, accepted them.

The old man won his battle, surviving to further his plans for domination. But Darkness lost. They did not return home after the boy struck them down, nor did they return to the boy. Instead, they found theirself latched to some other soul. One which felt oddly familiar though they were sure they didn’t know it…

It was in the strange-yet-nice warmth that Darkness lived for a long time, until the old man brought them to the Light once again. Darkness went along with the tyranny, until finally, _finally_ they were released. Defeated, alone, but going _home_. Back to the humidity and the dark and the warmth and the sweat…They’d been so overjoyed, laughing at the boy they had once called friend and the soul whose face they had stolen. Those two had not understood. Those two would never.

And so, after what felt like ages, Darkness was home. Happy. Lonely. Never interested in returning to the Light as long as they lived.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made a Vani-inspired playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2IpcJG05MUPICzglkzXtna
> 
> Update 28DEC2020  
> I'm rising from hiatus to finally finish this fic! And by finish I mean write because most of it is unwritten. If you're here from "Adventure Is Out There", thanks for sticking with me! This fic is going to take a very dramatic and dark turn in comparison, but I hope it's enjoyable in its own way.
> 
> I only changed one thing in the updated version of this chapter: Vanitas'/Darkness' pronouns. It was recently brought to my attention that Darkness a.k.a. Vani refers to theirself as an entity? So I'm rolling with it 'cause that's what we do in this fandom. And also I dig it. Nonbinary Vanitas? So here for it.
> 
> Thanks for reading and let me know if there's any grammar/spelling weirdness (especially if I missed a pronoun while editing).
> 
> <3 sherlockwolf


	2. just one of those days

‘ _Download complete._ ’ The jarring voice of the computer announced.

White light pierced closed eyelids, burning at the seam. Lungs filled, pressing against constricting fabric, then emptied, filled again. The light hurt. Breathing hurt. The coarse fabric tight around their neck where there had been none before _hurt_. If it would all just _go away_ …

Vanitas opened their eyes, taking in blurry shapes of people and objects and white, _white_ florescent lights. A movement of gold caught their attention, and they zeroed in on a familiar baby-faced boy with blue eyes.

Unbridled _rage_ coursed through their veins. Hot like the fires of Hades’ Hell itself. They launched theirself at their sworn enemy, their so-called _brother_ , pummeling him to the ground so quickly he could not strike back. Vanitas’ balance was slightly altered by the pants around their legs, but not enough to hinder the force of their attack.

Powerful hands pried them away too soon. Damn Ventus for having _friends_. Thankfully, Vanitas kept their own hands wrapped around the traitor’s neck, pulling him upright as they too were brought to their feet.

“What did you do?! _What did you do to me!?”_ They screamed as another set of hands wrapped around their wrists and began prying their fingers off Ventus.

They hated that they were brought back _again_ , hated that Ventus was the one to do it, _hated_ that they weren’t _home_ and _warm_ and _safe_ from the Light and its utter nonsense.

Suddenly there was a burst of light, _pain_ in their abdomen. Vanitas fell to their knees, curling in on theirself. They would have wrapped their arms around their waist, but their limbs remained captive. Their body trembled the pain away, ebbing it into the shadows in the corners of the room. Not that the shadows bothered to help.

Vanitas’ captors knelt beside them, and they looked up to see Ventus backing away, coughing and retching. Vanitas smiled—it was a beautiful sight. A figure appeared above, blocking one of the lights and giving them mild reprieve. The blue point of a familiar keyblade pressed against their chest, and its wielder spoke to an unknown listener,

“Go”.

One of their captors hurried away, crouching beside Ventus who had slid to the floor, still struggling to breathe. Vanitas watched the redheaded administer a healing spell. Who was this man that cared so gently for Ventus? They hated him instantly. Strangers should not be allowed to touch Ventus.

“What the fuck just happened?” Ventus asked the redhead, voice sounding off to Vanitas’ ears.

Where did Ventus learn to swear? And when did his voice become so…lackluster?

A smaller pair of hands appeared by those still holding them captive, and Vanitas hardly noticed the handcuffs as they looked up and found Ventus. Again. They looked back to Ventus One, where Redhead had moved aside to watch Vanitas, green eyes focused like a cat waiting to pounce. Ventus One’s eyes were blue like the off-shore ocean. Ventus Two’s eyes were blue like the coastal ocean. Ventus One looked pissed. Ventus Two looked worried.

Before anyone could explain to Vanitas what was happening, a man who blended in with the white lights except for his long, heather blue hair spoke up.

“Roxas, you’re bleeding.”

Ventus One’s face went blank. Then he swiped a finger under his nose and examined the red smear that appeared. He stared at it, eyes wide with disbelief. Then, Ventus One pressed the bloody finger to his own mouth and tasted it. Immediately he swiped another finger under his nose, this time holding it out to Redhead.

“Is it real?”

“What—?”

“ _Taste it_ , tell me if it’s real.”

Redhead bopped his finger tip against Ventus One’s, and tasted it.

“Um. Yeah, that’s what real blood tastes like.”

Pure joy exploded on Ventus One’s face, and he hugged Redhead.

“I’m bleeding!” He crowed into Redhead’s chest.

Why would he—oh. _Oh_. How interesting. Very _Xehanort_ of Ventus. Like father like son, huh? Ventus hadn’t escape Xehanort’s influence either, it seemed.

Vanitas broke into hysterics, grinning madly, “Oh, okay, he’s a clone! Now who’s the monster, huh?”

They aimed their smile at Ventus Two, who glared down at them.

“Nobody’s a _clone_. He’s a person. His name is Roxas.” Ventus snapped.

“ _Roxas_ ,” Vanitas tested the name like they too were tasting Roxas’ blood, and loving it.

Redhead shot them a glare over Roxas’ shoulder. Vanitas couldn’t resist but goad him.

“You’re hot when you’re angry.”

Redhead held out a hand and lit a ball of fire in his palm, “I’ll show you _hot_.”

Vanitas’ heart raced with excitement at a potential battle.

“ _Not_ in my lab!” The other white-coated man with long blond hair snarled, glaring daggers at Redhead.

The flame died out. Vanitas’ smirk did not.

“Flameboy’s got a tight leash, huh?” They taunted.

“Okay, that’s it.” Redhead made to get up, but Roxas held him back.

“Cut it out, there’s no reason to start a fight.”

“You too, Vanitas. We’re trying to help you out.” Ventus chastised.

Vanitas glared up at him, “Help me? I was perfectly happy floating around in the dark with no one to bother me. Now I have to deal with _talking_.”

Ventus frowned, frustrated, “How could you have possibly _enjoyed_ that? You _love_ telling me how much you hate me.”

Vanitas’ frustration matched Ventus’, “No I don’t. _You_ love saying that to _me_.”

They glowered at each other.

As this conversation was going nowhere productive, it was no surprise to Vanitas that Aqua interrupted, “I think this is enough for today. We should go.”

“Aww, Aqua’s always ruining the fun. How was it you became a Master, again? Oh, yeah, by always _running away_.” Vanitas taunted, finally turning their glare to her.

Aqua had not changed much since the last time they’d seen her. That sad, haggard expression had left more lines on her face than laughter. The ferocity she looked at them with told the tale of a warrior who knew only loss and pain. Vanitas had thought, way back when they and Aqua had first battled in the Keyblade Graveyard, in another reality the two of them would have been the best of friends.

But in this reality Vanitas had only ever had one friend, and that friend had betrayed them a thousand-times over. They didn’t want to deal with any more _mistakes_.

Everyone ignored them. Ventus and Terra agreed with Aqua, and decided—without Vanitas’s opinion—that they would explain Vanitas’ situation to them later. Because _time_ was going to make them less pissed that they’d been dragged back to this nightmare? Yeah, right.

Terra and Redhead hauled Vanitas into a room pointed out by Blondie and Blue Man. It had a bed, a few sets of fresh clothes which matched the ones they were wearing—dark-grey long-sleeve shirt, dark-grey sweat pants—one wall of floor-to-ceiling windows with no blinds, and an intercom planted in the glass by the door so they could make requests.

Jeeze, these people hated them more than average. They supposed, after what they’d done with Xehanort, they may have deserved it. But they equally deserved to stay out of the realm of Light _forever._ Then these idiots wouldn’t have to waste time torturing them…ugh.

After setting Vanitas on the bed and removing the cuffs, Blue Man locked the door and set the keys on the computer desk beside Blondie, who was rapidly typing on its keyboard. The Tear-Jerk Squad left, Ventus following Aqua and Terra with his head hung. Vanitas wondered what his deal was—had he really tricked himself into thinking Vanitas would be _happy_ to see him?

Vanitas decided to ignore the rest of their spectators in favor of searching for weaknesses in the prison cell. The ceiling had no visible ventilation cover, so getting into the air ducts was hopeless. The floor was tile, and the walls were brick except for the giant glass one with the door and the intercom. Where the walls and ceiling met was some kind of sealant. There were no cracks. There was no attached bathroom unit—were they in a clone body, too, then? Did the clone bodies not need bathrooms? Weird.

A knock on the glass drew Vanitas’ attention away from the ceiling. Seeing it was Roxas, they made sure to give an air of indifference as they stalked over to the intercom and pressed the button.

“What?”

Roxas flipped them off. Vanitas sneered and gave him the bird right back. Kid wanted to play dirty, huh? Two could play that game. Only one had a bloody nose, after all.

“I think I like you.” Vanitas spoke into the intercom.

Roxas pressed the button on his side, “Fuck you.”

“As long as fireboy’s watching.” Vanitas tried their best not to laugh.

This guy had _seriously_ walked into that one.

Roxas turned away, returning to Redhead and ignoring Vanitas’ last jibe. Vanitas watched them go, disappointed that all they were left with was Blue Man and Blondie. Who were ignoring them. Great. They took one more look around their cell, then decided it may as well be nap time.


	3. those nice young men in their clean white coats

Vanitas was convinced they were in Hell. Morning would come in the form of florescent overhead lights, followed by gripping scientists and a bang on Vanitas’ door to announce breakfast. Some kind of grey slop pushed through a tiny door on the floor. They refused to eat in case it was poisoned. Being provided with any kind of food, good or bad, posed an interesting question. Did they need to eat with this form? Or was it more of a choice—what did this body do with the organic matter if not expel it? Certainly the scientists hadn’t designed these fake bodies with the need to excrete waste…

Sometime during the day, one or both scientists would remember them, usually prompted by the appearance of the Tear Jerk Squad. A knock on the door would announce the beginning of what Vanitas hated most.

Experiments.

This entailed being dragged by Terra from the relative safety of their room, latched onto a soft chair with hard metal clamps, then closing their eyes tight as the white-clad scientists descended upon them with tiny sharp sticks and bright lights.

According to Blue Man, Vanitas was the most interesting of the _replicas_ – his word for ‘clones’. None before had such strong connection to the magic the keyblade wielders called darkness. Vanitas wasn’t about to tell Blue Man why. Instead, they amused theirself with the scientists’ musings. It was the only entertainment they could find while being poked with needles, watching pieces of their body’s skin lifted and replaced, and being filled with unknown liquids.

Of the two, Vanitas preferred when Blue Man worked with them. Blondie was cold, not chatty, nor did he seem to care if Vanitas was uncomfortable. But Blue Man would tell them stories about his life to distract them from the pain. Vanitas almost grew to like him—if he weren’t stabbing them with needles and occasionally asking questions about Xehanort.

Vanitas would prefer never to hear that name again.

Blue Man insisted he wouldn’t have to inject the liquids every day if Vanitas would just eat the grey slop. After a few days, Vanitas gave in. They knew they were being silly. If the scientists were really trying to kill them, they could have just poisoned the liquid they injected directly into the _replica_.

Oatmeal didn’t taste so bad, anyway.

~

The third day, Vanitas’ captors slipped up—they chose to trust them. The door was opened, Terra nearby but not posed to pounce. Blue Man waved for Vanitas to follow him, Ventus and Aqua watching with hopeful smiles. Well. Aqua’s was more of a grimace.

Vanitas stepped out of the door, waiting for the tables to turn and Terra to get his shit together. Three more steps after Blue Man toward the Other Room full of _needles_.

Yeah, right.

The doors were to the left.

Vanitas _bolted_. Being the first time they’d run in this form, it was sloppy. One or two tables were bumped, scattering glass and technology across the floor. The sound was satisfying. Enough so to balance out the severe disappointment of unreasonably-sized arms wrapping around their torso and lifting them off the ground.

_Damnit_.

Their captors didn’t try that again. Unfortunately.

~

Six days and six scratch marks on the wall passed when a rap on the glass drew Vanitas from slumber. A voice followed, a voice they’d never heard.

“Uh, hey scary dude. Brought you some food. Hope you like it. Mac and cheese is my favourite so I figured it couldn’t go wrong.”

Vanitas rolled over on the bed and cracked an eye open. A stranger with a mullet stood on the other side of the glass, waving slightly and pointing at the floor. Vanitas sat up more and looked down to find a tray with a bowl of something pale orange-yellow and steaming, a fork, and a glass of water.

Mullet Man left, so Vanitas sat on the floor beside the tray with their back to the glass. They drank some water first, then used the fork to take a bite of the “mac and cheese”. It wasn’t bad. Almost good. They wondered where it ranked in terms of good versus bad for everyone else. Mullet Man said he liked it, so maybe it was high on the good list.

~

Ventus appeared some hours after Mullet Man’s appearance. Vanitas’ afternoon nap was rudely interrupted by a knock on the glass. Aqua and Terra escorted, standing close on either side of Ventus as he waved to get Vanitas’ attention. Vanitas gave him the middle finger. Ventus pressed the intercom button on his side of the glass and asked timidly,

“How are you?”

Vanitas rolled their eyes. Really? They were crammed in a tiny room with nothing to do other than sleep, stare at walls, and be harassed by scientists. Anyone would be on the verge of insanity.

Ventus tried again, “I want to be friends.”

_Should’ve thought of that ages ago_. Vanitas snarled in their thoughts. They gave Ventus the bird again. Aqua put a hand on Ventus’ shoulder—Vanitas’ stomach curled with rage—and said something to him. A dejected look appeared on Ventus’ face. Then the trio left. Good riddance.

~

The next few days repeated this way, though with more insistent interaction from Mullet Man and Ventus. Mullet Man—whose name was Demyx—brought new foods, hand-held video games, and even played a few songs on his weird-looking guitar. One night, after Blondie and the Tear-Jerk Squad had left, Mullet Man dragged Blue Man over to the glass and the three of them played a game called “spoons”. They’d been kind enough to let Vanitas keep their spoon afterward. They made a game of throwing it at the wall. It made a satisfying _ping_ when it hit _._

Ventus began asking more in-depth questions when he visited. Questions Vanitas had no interest in answering any more than the surface-level ones.

“Why did you help Xehanort?”

“Why don’t you want to be alive?”

“Why do you hate me?” That one was asked while Terra and Aqua were getting their ears talked off by Blondie and Blue Man.

Interesting that he’d asked while they were alone.

“I know you’re not happy, but what would help?”

That one, they did answer. Vanitas asked for more of Mullet Man’s favourite foods, or weapons so they could break out and kill them all. Ventus, somewhat sensible, only brought the food if they promised to talk. They promised they would. And then didn’t. As far as Vanitas was concerned, they didn’t owe Ventus anything. The asshole was lucky they were giving him the time of day.

It was fun having so much control over Ventus’ emotions. Vanitas reveled in the few times Ventus had turned away with watery eyes—it became a pastime, thinking of what else they could do or say to hurt him. An eye for an eye, as it were.

Eventually, an idea came to them. Something they could ask that would rile Ventus, hurt him, offend him in the best way possible.

Vanitas asked to see Roxas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fam im so sorry this took so long. in a way it was good because there were some character choices I needed to make which took time, research, and discussion with the lovely AxelsLullaby. not to mention i moved 1000 miles and nano happened...
> 
> i hope this installment and those ahead are worth the wait! thanks for hanging in there for me.  
> <3 sherlockwolf


	4. are you the rabbit or the headlights?

Ventus delivered Roxas the next day, without his redheaded body guard. Vanitas watched as Blondie and Blue Man cornered Roxas at the door. Based on the annoyed expression on Roxas’ face, Vanitas was glad not to be a part of the conversation.

While waiting for Roxas to be released, Ventus tried to get Vanitas’ attention through the intercom. Vanitas refused to acknowledge him—Ventus had to think he no longer mattered, that Vanitas had moved on to the next new thing. Even Aqua made some effort, which Vanitas just sneered at. It was offensive that she tried. As if they gave a damn for what she had to say.

Finally, Ventus got fed up with waiting. He pulled Roxas away from the scientists, toward Vanitas. Ventus paused halfway between, telling Roxas something before leading him to the glass.

Vanitas hated the glass, for a moment, the thing no longer a safety net but truly a prison. Not only were they being left out of conversations, they couldn’t be satisfactorily intimidating without actually getting in someone’s face.

Roxas pressed the button, “Hey asshole, remember me?”

Oh, this guy was going to be _fun_ , “That’s supposed to be my line.”

Roxas smirked, “Oh, sorry. Next time I’ll let you go first.”

“Where’s flameo? Let you off leash today, or did you sneak out?” Vanitas decided to taunt, though they were genuinely curios since Redhead had been so violently protective of Roxas.

Roxas, however, knew how to play hard to get, “None of your business.”

No matter, Vanitas could poke around until they found the right buttons, “Oh, you broke up huh? I’d say too bad, but now there’s more for me.”

Roxas clicked his tongue, “You’re not his type.”

Vanitas chuckled, “Wasn’t talking about _him_.”

This time Roxas shut them down, stonily asking, “Why am I here?”

One last attempt—Vanitas shifted their hips to more firmly press against the glass, and their eyes scanned Roxas up and down. They gave a flick of their tongue over teeth for emphasis. Roxas raised a brow, unimpressed. Vanitas allowed theirself to feel the raw rage that sprouted from this splitting image of Ventus having the _gall_ to dismiss them. The beginnings of floods formed around them, whisps of purple smoke at their feet. But none materialized.

A shame. They kind of missed the purple creatures’ presence.

“I’m curious about you. You look like Ventus but you’ve got more,” they bit into their lower lip, “ _bite._ ”

Uncertainty flashed across Roxas’ face before he glanced back at Ventus, who gave him a weak thumbs up. Terra and Aqua looked as uncomfortable as Roxas, which was thrilling.

Roxas returned his attention to Vanitas, glaring daggers, “Fine, what do you wanna know?”

Vanitas was surprised they were finally being indulged. They wondered what Ventus had done to persuade Roxas to talk with them in the first place—whatever the prize was, it must be compelling.

They put on their most sickening grin and asked, “Are you and redhead actually dating?”

“No. Happy?”

Vanitas kept their grin, “Extremely.

“My love-life can’t be the only thing you’re curious about. Come on, hit me with a real question.” Roxas challenged.

Vanitas accepted—genuine curiosity was always their biggest downfall—and asked the first one that came to mind, “Why is your name ‘Roxas’ and not Ventus?”

~

Vanitas had to admit, they hadn’t expected to become genuinely interested in Roxas. All they’d wanted to do was make Ventus jealous, but there they were, an hour later, still asking questions. Where and why he was born, what he liked and hated about each organization member—Vanitas took particular interest in Xemnas—why he’d defected. Who was Sora, why did everyone but them _know_ Sora—seriously, it seemed like there wasn’t a single person who didn’t. One human couldn’t possibly be that popular? Why did Roxas prefer hoodies and skate shoes, why was ice cream his favourite dessert, why, why, why, why…

But then Roxas walked away. Just, got tired and turned his back. Abandoned them. Just like everyone else. Vanitas tried to get him to come back, promising they’d ask simpler questions, but Roxas ignored them. Everyone ignored them. Roxas left, Vanitas glaring at him on his way out, but Roxas still didn’t spare them another glance.

And then they were alone with Ventus, Aqua, and Terra. Again. Ventus came up to the intercom.

“Will you talk with us now?”

Right, the bargain. Vanitas turned their glare to Ventus.

“Tomorrow.”

And then they curled up on the tiny bed, facing the wall so they didn’t have to see the source of their torment.

~

That night was the first a flood appeared in Vanitas’ room. It crawled in between Vanitas’ arms, and they hugged it close. Why _exactly_ this one had manifested, they couldn’t discern. Their feelings were a cloud of black in their mind. But they were glad for its company nonetheless. It made the tiny room feel slightly more like home.

~

Sleep, for all beings, involved dreams. No exceptions. Not even for Darkness, who had gifted the universe with night in the first place.

“ _You used to be too broken to talk back_.”

Images—memories—of Ventus lying prone and unaware in the bed at the Land of Departure. Eyes glazed over, empty of everything they had once held. Laughter. Love. Life. _Green_. The very features which had enraptured Darkness the first time they’d met Ventus, far back when both of them were naïve and curious about the world.

Ventus screamed on that bed, eyes pooling with gold. An evil smile followed.

_“You think you can escape me?_ ” A voice very unlike Master Xehanort’s taunted, “ _Think again. I will find you, and I will stop you_.”

Why the beast in black wanted to stop them, they didn’t know. What did they do to him? Why was he hunting them? Didn’t he know they just wanted to be left alone? This was _their_ home, not his!

“ _Just let me sleep!”_ Darkness screamed.

The images in their mind vanished in a whisp of purple smoke, laughter trailing in the wind. Emptiness lingered. Finally, peace.

But then, footsteps. From behind. Darkness looked over their shoulder to see who dared break their coveted calm.

…Sora?

No.

Black hair, yellow eyes. _Xehanort’s eyes_. Twisted smile.

Darkness cowered.

“ _Afraid of yourself? Pathetic. You’ve always been pathetic. That’s why_ humans _can take advantage of you. You want their approval so badly you’ll do anything for it, even ki—.”_

 _“Shut up! Shut up shut up SHUT UP!”_ Darkness screamed to drown out the rest of what their Image said.

It was the truth. They didn’t want to hear it.

~

The next time Roxas showed, Redhead was with him. Redhead had a cloth bag slung over his shoulder which was stuffed with pointy things. It immediately drew Vanitas’ attention. What was in there? Torture devices?

Then Mullet Man—whose name was Myed—flounced in behind them, gushing with excitement. Though Vanitas couldn’t hear what he was saying, his expression gave it all away. Myed always got shiny about the eyes when he was excited. Vanitas thought it made him look an extra shade of dumb.

The oddball trio sat in a circle in front of Vanitas’ glass, making sure to include Ventus who already had his back pressed against the door. Though Vanitas could only see a portion of him due to the harsh angle between glass and floor, they knew Ventus had been moping in that exact spot since morning. Sometime in the past few days Aqua and Terra had decided that Vanitas did not pose as big a threat as they had first feared. Thus, they’d left Ventus to deal with his foe alone while the pair spent their days in town. Ventus had no one to talk to but the scientists. The blonde one ignored him, and Blue Man—named Ienzo—could only spare a few minutes every now and again.

Vanitas, naturally, offered no hope of interaction. They were thriving on Ventus’ misery. Enough so that the only unversed in their room was still the flood from Roxas’ first visit.

After a lot of badgering from Myed, Blue Man—named Ienzo—joined the others in gathering in front of Ventus. They all sat down, forming a circle. Vanitas watched Redhead pull colorful boxes from the bag. _Exploding Kittens, Cards Against Humanity, Unstable Unicorns, Uno_. Only Exploding Kittens sounded remotely interesting.

Turning their back to the others, Vanitas sat against the glass directly behind Ventus. Perhaps if they feigned disinterest the others would go away. No such luck. Game after game, they kept trying to involve Vanitas. Roxas went as far as to deal him into their first round of unicorns, pushing the cards through the door flap food usually came through.

Vanitas ignored them. They also ignored all requests to have the cards returned.

A flood—there were now three in the room—had crawled into Vanitas’ lap sometime during the games. They absentmindedly pet it while listening to the other’s fun. What would it be like, if they joined in? Would some semblance of joy make itself known in this artificial heart? Vanitas hated the idea. There was no room for joy in such a cold, unforgiving universe. They had no desire…great.

The Unversed were taking different shapes. There was a jellyshade flying erratic patterns along the ceiling, pausing every now and then to glower at the card players. A hareraiser was collecting the unicorn cards off the floor. It reorganized the cards once, let out a weary sigh, and reorganized them again. It tried to show the cards to Vanitas, vying for their attention. They ignored it. The hareraiser began to sniffle. Beside it appeared an archraven, which began to pluck the cards from its hands and fly them across the room. There, it would stuff the card under Vanitas’ pillow before returning for the next.

It would only be a few seconds before Vanitas’ rampaging emotions became a full-on zoo. They needed to do something. Fast. 

Redhead was dealing out yet another game, _Uno_.

Ugh. Fine.

At some point Roxas had slouched against the glass beside Ventus. Vanitas tapped the glass by Roxas’ ear with a knuckle. He startled bad enough that he jolted upright, drawing the others’ attention.

Vanitas pointed at theirself, then the cards in Axel’s hand. They wanted in.

Redhead dealt them a hand, and this time they took it. They repositioned carefully, since the flood didn’t bother to move, so they were properly facing the circle. Roxas and Ventus had to scoot away from the glass at angles so Vanitas couldn’t see their cards, nor them theirs. Once settled, the game began. There was some lag during Vanitas’ turns since they had to learn the rules, otherwise…they were almost having fun.

The flood wanted to chew the cards, turning its head and trying to bite them out of Vanitas’ hands. They had to hold the cards high, near their face which discouraged the lazy flood. Displeased, it pawed at Vanitas’ face, eventually pressing one foot against the bottom of thier jaw. Vanitas quickly grew annoyed with it, but that was what the damn thing wanted. Its red eyes were squinted with mirth.

Vanitas was about to forget about the card game entirely and beat the flood into nothingness when Roxas asked,

“What are those?”

Vanitas gave him a confused glare, having no idea what he was talking about, “Cards?”

“No, the blue things.”

Vanitas looked down at the one in their lap and poked its belly. It squirmed and made warbling noises.

“Oh. Floods.”

“Where’d they come from?”

“Me.” Vanitas poked it again, and it screamed just to be annoying, “When I get upset they show up. They don’t always look like these—but these are the cutest, don’t you think?”

Where that came from, Vanitas had no idea. But the compliment certainly made the flood happy. It waved its arms around wildly.

“If you like sharp things.” Lea grumbled beside Roxas.

“I think they’re cute!” Ven hurried to agree, but it was too late.

Vanitas glared at Redhead. That asshole was not going to take away the flood’s moment of joy on their watch.

“No one asked, firebrain.”

“That’s not even an insult.” Lea scoffed, tossing a card on the pile since it was his turn.

“How about shit-for-brains?” Vanitas taunted.

Lea glared, then said, “Roxas, if you have a skip, please use it.”

Roxas didn’t. Instead, he played the card he’d planned to, and told Vanitas,

“Don’t call him that.”

“Aw, but Roxy, you know it’s true.” Vanitas whined, passing a card through the slot.

Maybe joy was the feeling Vanitas got from watching Roxas roll his eyes, or the slightly—too—rough way Ventus grabbed Vanitas’ card to set it on the pile for them.

While Ventus hurried to take his turn and keep the game going, Roxas said something to Redhead, their heads leaned close and Roxas’ expression pleading. After, Redhead squared his jaw and kept his eyes fixed downward on the game. Myed’s turn began, but Vanitas had long stopped paying attention to what cards were on the pile.

Given how assertive Roxas was, it really shouldn’t have been a surprise. Maybe it was his similar appearance to Ventus that had had Vanitas believe Roxas was weak. Malleable. A push over. A true clone. In reality, Roxas was none of those things. And Vanitas simply had not recognized that until now.

“Looks like I got it wrong,” Vanitas said, and Roxas begrudgingly looked at them to show he was listening, “ _you’ve_ got _him_ wrapped around your finger.”

Vanitas laughed while Roxas rolled his eyes and gave him the bird. Redhead’s cheeks tinted the color of his hair. Vanitas could practically see the steam rising off him.

Myed had to nudge Ienzo to get him to pay attention to the game. No one spoke to Vanitas again, but that was fine with them. All the unversed had disappeared from their room, which was all they’d wanted in the first place. Well. Almost all. Unfortunately, the one in their lap hadn’t left.

When the round ended, Redhead got up and left the lab without a word. His exit seemed to kill the fun, so everyone else wrapped up. Roxas collected all the cards and put them back in the box, while Ienzo and Myed wandered over to the computers where Blondie was working. Ventus made a fuss over Roxas coming to visit, then slipped out to find Aqua and Terra. Vanitas hoped it was code for finding a corner to cry in from how poorly his little “redeem Vanitas” plan was going.

It occurred to Vanitas that Roxas, too, was going to leave. And then they would be stuck with this stupid flood. While Roxas stuffed the games back into the bag, Vanitas scrambled for a reason to get more of his attention. Games gathered, Roxas stood and paused, watching the flood. The silly creature was waving its arms around again. Vanitas took the opportunity to say whatever came off their tongue first.

“Your boyfriend’s no fun.”

Roxas glared at him, and left without a word.

Vanitas let out a frustrated yell and flopped on their back. The sound of more unversed appearing only pissed them off more. It was so easy to rile up Ventus. Almost like he _wanted_ to be, _loved_ to be tortured by Vanitas’ harassment. But Roxas? Impossible. As though he had a shield over his emotions, only permeable to outside influences he desired. Not that Vanitas _couldn’t_ work with that. Certainly, all the attention they were giving Roxas was affecting Ventus, which had been their original intention.

Vanitas was used to finding people’s cracks and exploiting them until they _shattered._ In all of history there had only been two people who could resist them. The first, a batty time traveler convinced he could change the future from the past. The second, Roxas. For a moment, Vanitas wondered if the two had something in common.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! As always let me know if there's any spelling issues or grammar weirdness. 
> 
> <3 sherlockwolf


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